Review : Pirates Of The Caribbean : Dead Men Tell No Tales

Pirates Of The Caribbean is back for a fifth installment in the adventure franchise. The movie has a special attachment for me as it was filmed in my current place of residence (Gold Coast, Australia) and after seeing the actors come in and out, talking to friends who worked on the set and production, it brought so much joy and happiness that a film of this scale was being made here and started the rejuvenation of Village Roadshow Studios having more big films follow (Thor Ragnarok, Aquaman) It was hard not to be excited for this movie, yet halfway through I found myself yawning and wondering was I just a bit hyped or is this movie actually bad? The answer is in the latter, this story in this movie is completely rubbish. Johnny Depp has completely turned Jack Sparrow from an amusing protagonist into a bumbling buffoon and because of this the movie is barely watchable.

We are introduced to two new leads (Kaya Scodelario and Brenton Thwaites) who are on separate quests to find the Trident of Poseidon. All of a sudden Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) is involved in the quest along with Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) and being pursued by a army of ghosts led by Captain Salazar (Javier Bardem). Oh and just because they had to there is a completely unnecessary 10 second “bit” with Paul McCartney that is the worst excise for a cash in I have ever seen in a movie. Also for some strange reason Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley are in the film for a whole 20 seconds just because they were in the original film.

There isn’t really much to say about this movie apart from the fact that if you are a fan of the original trilogy and the 4th one, you may find some solace here. Apart from that viewers will cringe at Johnny Depp’s, Deppness and the sexist and racist quips that are thrown out every chance they can that are shrugged off as funny jokes in this genre of film.

The only redeeming thing is the production quality of the film, the locations are beautiful and the town that was re-built looks amazing. Most of the night water scenes are dark and murky and actually a struggle to see (no I do not wear glasses!) the post-production feels rushed and murky. There are some beautiful near redeeming scenes at the end of the movie, but not enough to save this horrible mess.

Pirates Of The Carribean : Dead Men Tell No Tales is a complete disappointment, only die-hard fans may enjoy, the rest will see this as the disposable mess that it is. We recommend seeing in Gold Class or VMAX where alcohol is provided for maximum enjoyment.

Review by Alaisdair Leith

What is your reaction?

In Love
Not Sure

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

0 %